Some things I can’t help; take, for example, the attention
whore of a
zit now perched on my cheek. Right under my eye, too, so my eye is
practically swollen shut. What a jerk.
Some things I have just accepted as a part of who I am, like
my tendency to get lost in daydreams. This sounds harmless enough, until you
count the number of times you’ve almost been mowed down by a Vespa. The little
shriek-hop that inevitably follows these near death experiences totally redeems
my dignity. Not really. Not at all.
The worst are the things that are completely under my
control. Things I keep doing. Sending sexy texts and then spending the next two
hours slapping myself in the face for thinking it was a good idea. Who says
that? He hates me now. That was not sexy. At all. Nope. He’s not going to
respond. Because I’m dumb. Stupid and crass. And just gross. I’m gross.
I have a reasonable, adult voice somewhere in my head. But
in these moments, my inner thirteen year-old shoulders her out of the way,
sounding the alarm. Screeching her head off. Berating me like a bona fide mean
girl.
Even though my adult voice cowers in the corner for hours –
sometimes days – she finds her strength the only way she knows how. Even when
she can’t get a word in over the keening of my inner Dramapants, she finds her
strength – in a laugh.
I usually try to cheer myself up doing something that wraps
me up in happy. Writing, reading, baking delicious cookies. But when Dramapants
gets going, it’s hard to find safety even in my favorite things.
So I laugh. And that is my advice to you, dear reader. Laugh
it off. You can turn the worst of times into bittersweet times or even times of
utter hilariousness. You can turn good times into pure awesome. Find the funny.
That embarrassing time a Vespa driver swore at you and a
cute guy looked at you like you were mentally unstable? It becomes an amusing
story of how you almost lost your life while reliving a Johnny Depp sex dream.
The giant witch of a pimple? I don’t know, but you have to admit it is pretty
funny that a pimple’s swelling your eye shut. Freaking out over something you
said to a guy? You were trying to be playful, anyway. Anything sex-related
should be served with a healthy dose of humor. And winky faces.
Even if you have to fake it, give it a try. Start laughing.
It’ll probably be hard to stop.
